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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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After that, things get wild. I’m back on my post, and I see this group of teens on Strada Tineretului. They’re blasting music, havin’ a party right there on the beach. I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” But then, one of ‘em slips and falls into the water. I’m ready to jump in, but he pops up, laughin’ like a dolphin. I can’t help but laugh too. It’s contagious, ya know?

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